Back to School: 4 Things You Can Do For You

A practical guide for parents of children with disabilities.

Most families have kids going back to school this week or next. That is always a big transition for everyone. Change comes with all the feelings: relief, anxiety, excitement, and so many others.

For many of you, figuring out school for your child can feel overwhelming at times. What services do I request? Will the teacher understand my child? Will they get a chance to be their full selves? How will I know if they are learning or feeling stuck? Transitioning back into that world can feel like a lot.

Before starting VELA, I worked as a speech-language therapist in many settings. I worked in clinics, schools, and families’ homes. That means I went to a lot of ARD/IEP meetings, the meetings where a child’s special education plan is created or reviewed. Usually, I was there to support the parent of a child I was working with.

Sitting in hundreds and hundreds of those meetings, I learned that a few simple things can make a difference in helping you, the parent, feel more supported, equipped, and treated like the expert you are. Here are four things you can do as this school year begins.

1. Walk, don’t run

When describing hard things people like to say “‘it’s a marathon, not a sprint,” but I always say, stop running! You will get tired. Think of this as a long walk. There will be hills, flat surfaces, valleys, and all sorts of things along the path.

You do not have to know everything. You do not have to do everything. You do not have to solve the entire school year before the first bell rings. When we can slow down internally, we create space to think about what we want to do, how we want to do it, and when we can actually do it. And sometimes, we realize we cannot do it right now. That is information too.

Try a one-minute check-in: “Right now, I am feeling…” Name what is there without judging it. Then choose one small next step. Maybe you find the latest IEP. Maybe you write down one question. Maybe you do nothing school-related today and give yourself the care you need. Going slowly can help you stay present for the long walk ahead.

2. Build Your Parent Toolkit

Remember when you were a kid and back-to-school shopping meant getting a binder and some notebooks? Let’s go back to that. Make yourself a Parent Toolkit: one place where you can keep the information you may need during the school year. Put a picture of your child on the cover. That picture helps everyone remember who all this paperwork is about.

You can include:

• Your child’s current IEP and most recent evaluation

• School letters, teacher contact information, and important emails

• Recent notes or summaries from therapists and doctors

• Progress reports, work samples, or tests that help you see change over time

• A notebook for questions, meeting notes, and dates

• Your child’s one-page introduction, which we will talk about next

You do not have to build the whole toolkit in one sitting. Start with the binder, the picture, and the most recent IEP. Add things as you go. Getting organized physically can help us feel more organized internally. It prepares us for meetings and helps the people supporting our children understand the full story. It also helps others see and treat us as the experts we are.

3. Introduce the whole child

A school file can fill up quickly with evaluations, goals, services, and areas of need. Your child is a whole person. They have strengths, interests, ways of communicating, things that bring them joy, and things that help them feel safe and ready to learn.

Create a simple one-page introduction for the teacher and school team. Add a photo and answer a few questions:

• What do I love and admire about my child?

• What does my child enjoy?

• How does my child communicate best?

• What helps when my child feels overwhelmed or stuck?

• What do I hope my child experiences this school year?

You can write, draw, add pictures, or invite your child to help make the page in the way that works for them. It does not have to look perfect. A few honest sentences can help a new teacher understand your child much faster. You might begin with: “My child lights up when…,” “You will know they need a break when…,” or “One thing that helps them participate is…” Share the page early and keep a copy in your Parent Toolkit.

4. Write down your priorities and start the conversation

You do not need a perfect plan before you contact the school. Start by reviewing the IEP a little at a time. Highlight what you want to celebrate, what you want to understand, and what you may want to change. Then choose your top three questions or priorities for the beginning of the year.

Your list might include:

• Who is my main contact when I have a question?

• How will we communicate about progress and challenges?

• What will help my child participate, belong, and be fully included?

• What's the best way for me to share what’s working/not working at home?

Send a short email to the teacher or case manager. Begin with connection, share something important about your child, and ask your questions clearly. When you have a concern, include a specific example of what you are seeing and one clear request. Writing things down helps you remember what was discussed and gives the school team something concrete to respond to. Keep a copy of the message and the response in your toolkit.

You can say: “I’m looking forward to partnering with you this year. I’m sharing my child’s one-page introduction so you can get to know them. I also have a few questions about how services and communication will begin. Could we find a time to talk?”

One small step is enough.

Back to school can bring a lot of urgency, especially when you know how much the right support matters for your child. You can meet that urgency with one small, grounded step at a time. Pick one thing from this list. Start there. You can add another step when you are ready.

At VELA, we return to the same truth again and again: You are the expert on your child. You know what brings them joy, what helps them feel safe, what they are working toward, and when something does not feel right. Your knowledge belongs in every school conversation.

VELA is here to walk with you all the way. Join our Special Education Course so we can learn and practice all of this and more—together! We will build your Parent Toolkit, work through your child’s IEP, prepare for ARD meetings, and practice asking for what your child needs. Register today and take your next step with a community ready to walk alongside you.